Aceptamos el amor que creemos merecer

Hace mucho tiempo escuché sobre el amor (aunque es aplicable a casi todos los ámbitos) algo que ahora no solo comprendo sino que estoy preparado para asumir: “Aceptamos lo que creemos merecer”. Porque, aunque parezca algo evidente, tener a nuestro lado como pareja a alguien que nos dé lo que merecemos no es tan sencillo de conseguir entre otras cosas porque, aunque ni siquiera lo sepamos, solemos dejarnos acompañar por quien nos resta ya que, en el fondo, no creemos que seamos dignos de otra cosa.

Yendo al grano. Con frecuencia nos quejamos de novios o novias que no van en sintonía con lo que deseamos, con los que discutimos más de lo que desearíamos o que son opuestos a nuestros principios, por ejemplo, morales sin aceptar del todo que eso es así PORQUE NOSOTROS QUEREMOS. Por miedo a la soledad, por costumbre, porque puede más la meta que el camino, cometemos con frecuencia faltas de respeto hacia nosotros mismos y claro, al final, terminamos o frustrados, o aceptando condiciones que nos convierten en prisioneros de unos sentimientos que, pensadlo bien, están en el lado opuesto al amor (que es libertad, generosidad y entrega desinteresada).

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Todo esto viene porque el otro día me contaba un amigo que acaba de conocer a un chico (es gay pero esto podemos extrapolarlo a cualquier tendencia sexual) que le ha planteado que quiere una relación “abierta”, esto es, acostarse cada uno con quien le dé la gana aunque luego tengan una convivencia común. ¿Qué pasa? Que a mi amigo esto no le apetece en absoluto pero, convirtiendo una mentira en verdad, ha llegado al autoconvencimiento de que, como es algo que se ha puesto de moda, tampoco pasa nada si acepta este tipo de infidelidad concertada para, de esta forma, lograr su objetivo de emparejarse. En consecuencia, mi amigo considera que MERECE un compañero de estas características.

Así, cuando la próxima vez alguien nos trate mal o nos grite, cuando no tengan los detalles que para nosotros son importantes que tengan con nosotros, cuando aceptamos “reglas del juego” que no son las nuestras, recordad que en nuestra mano está que ésa sea (o no) nuestra realidad. Es cuestión de medir en una balanza y saber si pesan más nuestra integridad o nuestros ideales que estar con alguien o si estar con alguien puede tener más valor que lo demás y compensar los sacrificios. Cada uno decide.

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